Thinking It Through

Heaven – Thinking It Through


There are beliefs that people take for granted as true without questioning them. In this series those questions will be asked in order to see if they can hold up to what we perceive them to be. It is not about discovering whether their main concept is true or not, but rather to find out if what we believe about them can stand up under the scrutiny of logic and reason. Let’s find out.

Things to do (or not do) in heaven

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  1. Do People Eat?
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What is paradise without the finest cuisine? I couldn’t imagine going through all of eternity without a good pizza, or a juicy steak, or a nice hot cup of coffee in the morning. If people eat, where does the food come from? Are some people forced to work farms? Do people have to go food shopping? Do they have to pay for the food? Do they have to cook it? Or, does it just magically appear? Some might say that people absorb the energy (ingest the good vibes) straight from god. To be honest, if those good vibes don’t come with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy then I want no part of it.

2. After they eat…

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Okay, they’ve had a good meal. Does the food get digested? Do people have to pee and take a dump? Do they ever get diarrhea, or get constipation? Do people ever cut a raunchy fart in heaven? Are there bathrooms? If yes on the bathrooms, where does the waste go? Is there a massive septic system capable of handling a daily poop and pee from everyone throughout all of eternity?

Another opinion is that people are not made of flesh and bone in heaven. They’re just energy connected to god. What, no bacon and eggs? No Sunday morning on the throne with a good book or a newspaper? And you call that heaven?

What about showering? Do people get dirty in heaven? Do they get oily hair and pimples? Do they need to put on deodorant? Who washes the towels and dirty clothes?

3. What are they wearing?

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Speaking of clothing in heaven, who makes them? How much do they get paid? Do they sell the fabric by the yard? Do they sew them by hand or do they have sewing machines run by electricity in heaven?

4. Is there sadness in heaven (feelings, whoa whoa whoa)?

Pretty much everyone in their lifetime will have heard the question of, If someone makes it into heaven, but their son or daughter is roasting in hell, how can this parent experience the joys of living in paradise? Some believe that people in heaven are stripped of the ability to feel anything except joy. If this were true, then we would no longer be who we were on Earth. We’d be completely different people. So, what’s the point of struggling on Earth, only to be stripped of emotional pain, greed, and ambition in heaven?

It pretty much goes without saying that we need to do some serious work on forming a rational, unified concept of that place we’re supposed to spend an eternity in. If we make it there.

By Jiggerj

While observing 60+ years of atrocities within a world-gone-mad, I had to ask myself these questions, "What in thee hell is going on? What are we doing, and why are we doing it?" I've come up with many answers (at least for me), that I'd like to share with you. I have stripped this life down to the bare bones and found that we're pretty much living in Alice's Wonderland.

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